Semi-Serious but pretty much shitpost Komahina fanfiction
by Sallymeow1
Summary: Hajime Hinata starts to have nightmarish dreams and has no idea why. In time, he begins to like these dreams, even more than reality itself. What will he do? who fucking knows.


**There was a dazzling light in Hajime's room. He was wondering who the hell turned the lights on at 1 AM. Hajime soon realized the light switch was turned off, and he was immensely concerned and bothered by this. He then saw someone fly in on a cloud through his window, the guy was wearing a flower crown and a hospital robe, and his first words as he came to Hajime's bed was**

 **"** **Komahina turn me ooon, pleased to please ya"**

 **"** **Damnit Komaeda it's 1 AM go away"**

 **"** **But the I took the hope shoosh, I can't leave until you come fly with me" he replied with a big smile.**

 **Hajime sighed "Fine, but it better not take too long." Komaeda wrapped his arms around Hajime and threw him down onto the gay cloud. Komaeda didn't say it was gay, but Hajime had a feeling it was. Dolphins began flying alongside the cloud, and one of them intertwined with Hajime. Hajime screeched a reply, saying "THIS ISN'T SEAWORLD KOMAEDA GET THIS FLYING DEMON OFF OF MY CHESTAL REGION. THIS IS THE WRONG VIDEO GAME" Komaeda happily obliged, turning into Shrek and grabbing the dolphin, smothering it into butter, and then turning it into balloons that read "why the hell am I writing this shitpost". Hajime, now relieved after that dolphin was eradicated by shrek, then decided to rest. He found himself laying on a flying carpet when he woke up.**

 **"** **Komaeda, you better have an explanation this time" Hajime sighed, realizing that this crazy shit wasn't a dream. Suddenly, puff clouds were swirling around them. Bob Marley came out of the smoke clouds. He was riding on a giant ass rainbow.**

 **"** **Ay, how 'bout we's have a race?" he inquired.**

 **"** **Absolutely! But I highly doubt trash like me has any chance over someone like you" Komaeda still wore his ever-so creepy smile. Hajime was sure that anyone who never knew Komaeda would think he looked normal at that point, but once you get to know him, he's actually a creepy bastard.**

 **"** **Nagito, this isn't in my contract you know." Hajime just looked weary from all the things happening at this point in time, bleary-eyed and all.**

 **"** **Come on, Hinata-kun! It'll be fun!" His grin got bigger and creepier.**

 **"** **Fine, but you better stop widening your grin." Hinata laid back. Expand Grin. The race was on, Bob Marley's Rainbow sped off with the carpet quickly tailgating behind. The carpet was actually so close that the carpet itself began to turn rainbow. However, everyone knows Bob Marley had to take a breather with some kush, so he trailed back. The Rainbow Carpet was gonna win.**

 **"** **Hey Hajime" Komaeda leaned close to this face. "How about a kiss for good luck."**

 **Hajime knew what he was doing. "We're about to win, why do we need any lu-" Bob Marley's rainbow was speeding up thanks to "Jacksepticeye's Septic Weed Boost"** ** **.**** **Hajime Hinata realized at that moment, he had to do what was right for the good of the entire world. Hajime leaned in, and kissed Nagito, blushing the entire way and closing his eyes. When Hajime opened his eyes, he fell out the window, only for Komaeda to catch him.**

 **Hajime was in awe " Nagito? Wh-What the hell is happening?"**

 **"** **Hajime?" Komaeda looked confused. "I heard you making noises some I just waited out the window after knocking 420 times."**

 **It was on that day that Hajime realized, he would never speak of that dream again. Especially since in theory, dreams are about hidden desires. But this wasn't any kind of desire, was it?**

 ** **Part 2****

 **"** **Welcome back to the sin, here you will find horrible shenanigans" said the monopoly man "Just realize that I warned you. Also a bit more serious?"**

 **"** **But Monopoly-man!" I replied "I don't wanna do this again."**

 **"** **It's too late, the boredom you feel in psychology is already hypnotizing you to do it, as we speak you are typing my dialogue right now." he said snidely**

 **"** **Shit he's right" I muttered "Well what do I write about this time?"**

 **"** **What do you think? About the dream of course, and shrek, please! I need him." It was pretty obvious that the monopoly man was an obvious shrek fanboy. However, he'd never admit to it. "Agh! Quit writing about me- anyways, onto the story!" he said hurriedly**

 **"** **Hajimeeeeeeeee" Komaeda leaned in. Hajime looked like satan shat in his bed and then told him he would see him later. They were eating at the hotel and EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND NOBODY WAS DEAD.**

 **"** **Naegi" Byakuya leaned his tall giraffe neck from across the table all the way to his waifu. "Naegi, Hajime's face is making me uncomfortable. Tell them naegi. Tell them"**

 **Naegi screamed like a goat when he saw Byakuya using his super-giraffe abilities, then he laughed "Oh hey Byakuya."**

 **"** **Tell them naegi" Byakuya said in his very own TTS voice because he's rich as fuck or some other shit. Somehow, he made sure the word "Naegi" could be linked smoothly into every sentence put in.**

 **Naegi replied as casually as ever "It's fine, I think I'll let Komaeda handle it. After all, everyone on the island ships KomaHina."**

 **"** **Hajimeee" Komaeda leered.**

 **Nothing.**

 **"** **Hey, Hajime" Komaeda screamed into his ear.**

 **Still nothing**

 **"** **Lick my shoe hinata-kun" Komaeda pulled his smelly ass shoe to Hajime's face.**

 **"** **Oh god what is this asavisbfab" Hajime apparently was so out of touch from the universe that even Shrek came to look at this fabulous universe-breakage.**

 **"** **Wow, even that smell could rival my onions, donkey." Shrek was also out of touch with the universe. "Here, have some free candy" Shrek proceeded to throw pills with onion shapes on them at Hajime.**

 **"** **Screw this, I'm going back to my room." Hajime strolled back to his dorm, annoyed at all the nonsense still happening, purposely ignoring the "your daughter calls me daddy too" poster Hiyoko was putting up. On a more serious note, it wasn't just that dream either. Hajime keeps having these goddamn dreams every night and he's tired of it. Komaeda is always in these dreams too, offering a kiss of luck or something equally bullshit-sounding. And the thing is, Hajime goes for it every time; falling out the window, rolling out of bed, or falling through the floor into the ice rink where shrek skates. Seriously, Kazuichi is considering tying him up because he's just that tired of fixing his mistakes.**

 **Hajime sighed "Time for another horrible dream" he closed his eyes and let his consciousness drift from him. And the all too familiar voice rang out in his dream**

 **"** **Hinata-kun! Hinata-kun!" Komaeda in his fucking blue flower crown again, was waving Hajime over. This dream wasn't outside his window this time, it was a starry night in a field of flowers by a bridge with water that reflected the sparkling stars that speckled the sky.**

 **"** **What is it this time, Nagito?" Hajime tried to sound annoyed, but he was interested by this new setting displayed in front of him.**

 **"** **We need to go to the bone zone, follow me." Komaeda was smiling, but realizing Hinata wasn't amused, he continued onward. Hajime followed and listen to the footsteps of them stepping on the soft, dew sparkled grass. Suddenly, he heard rushed footsteps.**

 **"** **What the hell?" Hajime's head shot up**

 **"** **Hajime, we need to go. Now!" Nagito grabbed Hajime's hand firmly and ran. Hajime turned his head around to see Jontron and Bob Marley chasing them on a weed-powered firework. Sparkling Justice was standing at the front, not moving around, just standing completely still, like how the fuck can anyone even do that? Oh wow what a treat. They stomped across the water, rippling the previously displayed image.**

 **Komaeda pointed to the woods "Through there" but Bob Marley had help from the god of youtube to help him catch up faster, "The Golden Ticket" ™.**

 **"** **What the hell, man? I never asked for this!" Hajime found this dream just as confusing as all his other weird dreams.**

 **"** **Don't worry, Hinata-kun! I've got this!" Komaeda then proceeded to inhale 1000 doritos. Suddenly, a voice sang:**

 **"** **But my hope will never die!" Komaeda's eyes turned yellow and he became a super saiyan. He began running up the tree, and before Hajime knew it they were in a hallway with skeletons with top hats, spider webs, and...what pumpkins?**

 **Hajime sighed "So, this is the bone zone i'm guessing?"**

 **Komaeda patted Hajime's head and said "Ye, they might not come here."**

 **"** **SPARKLING JUSTICE, NYA NYA MOTHERFUCKERS."**

 **"** **What is that?" Hinata's head snapped away from looking at Komaeda's gaze.**

 **"** **Someone coming here" Nagito sighed and pointed to Sparkling Justice speeding this way. The osomatsu-san theme was playing, slowly speeding up as she approached. Komaeda grabbed Hajime**

 **"** **Wha-"**

 **"** **Shh, this is the only way to end this dream." Komaeda kissed Hajime on the lips. Hajime found himself crashing through the floor, into Shrek's melted ice rink.**

 **Shrek was sitting in the stadium seats "I knew yew were gonna dew this, that's why I made the ice into water."**

 **"** **Yeah, but it's still cold." Hinata shivered.**

 **"** **Whateva, now go actually talk to people instead of sleeping all day. I can tell you're dreams are epic, but you shouldn't need to sleep all day because of that" Shrek countered.**

 **Hajime sighed "I hate my dreams actually"**

 **"** **Then why did you go back to your room to sleep? That counters common sense, boy." Shrek shook his head.**

 **"** **I-I...I don-...Maybe I do like them. Just don't tell people that, Shrek." Hajime was looking down STILL IN THE WATER.**

 **"** **Okay, send all." Shrek smiled and sent the secret to everyone.**

 **"** **Damnit I just fixed that hole, Hajime!" Kazuichi yelled.**

 **Hajime sighed and got dressed. He stepped outside, being dazzled by the sunny afternoon light. He took a deep breath and had a moment to collect his thoughts so far. He covered his face with his hands, hoping nobody would realize how red his face was.**

 **"** **U-Um...Hajime?" a timid voice softly ventured "Are you alright?" Hajime looked to see Mikan looking slightly worried in front of him.**

 **"** **Ahh! Hajime, you have a fever! We have to get you medicine right away! Or maybe you're sick! Don't worry, I'll go get the shots!" Mikan's slightly worried changed to an overly worried.**

 **"** **N-No Mikan, I don't need any shots! I'm not sick, and I don't have a fever... I think."**

 **"** **Darn I like the shots...Hajime, please be careful and take care of yourself! It'd be bad if you hurt yourself. Especially if we can help!" Mikan had her hands together, in high hopes of Hajime listening to her.**

 **"** **Hey, fat pig! Hurry and give me my shot before I change my mind! I'm not standing here for no reason!" Hiyoko called over from the 2nd island. It was only possible with the power of Shia Labeouf's existence, it was also possible with his encouragement.**

 **"** **LOUDER!" Shia labeouf screeched.**

 **"** **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" nekomaru screamed his battle cry.**

 **"** **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" kazuichi was screaming out of pure fear of those two and their combined forces. Hajime decided to go back to the hotel lobby, maybe to ease himself after all of the recent dreams. The air was cool and breezy in the lobby, blowing his ahoge around like a pinwheel. Everything felt fine and simple in that one moment of tranquility. Suddenly, Hajime heard clanking and banging in the kitchen. His heart stopped, was monokuma cooking someone into butter? No, that'd be impossible because NOBODY CAN OR WILL EVER TURN INTO BUTTER. Then he saw something he never thought he'd see. Somehow, Chiaki was asleep yet playing the saxophone. When she paused for a moment, Nagito started opening and closing the oven door. They stopped the moment they saw Hajime come in**

 **Nagito paused for a moment and smiled "Oh, hey Hajime."**

 **"** **Snnnnnnzzzzz" Chiaki snored.**

 **"** **You guys made me think something was being cooked." Hajime sighed.**

 **"** **Sorry to get your hopes up, Hajime. I did cook some hope bagels, but I already ate them." Komaeda smiled innocently. Hajime felt like he should have known coming here would result in another anxiety inducing trip. Somehow Shrek, Shia, Mr. Lancer, Pepe, and even Monokuma can't scare him. Yet, Komaeda's calm demeanour in this situation gives him anxiety.**

 **"** **I should just go back to sleep honestly." Hajime starts his walk but is abruptly stopped by the narcoleptic game girl.**

 **"** **Hajime, listen to me." She begins to speak, "There's a limit of how much reality and how much fantasy someone should experience, and this is coming from me so you should know I'm being honest here. I can pay attention to everything happening even when asleep, however I doubt anyone else has that power..probably."**

 **"** **You should try going to the Supermarket or the venue," Komaeda for once looked serious for one second, but went back to normal the next "It's all for the good of hope that we feel better, right?"**

 **Hajime shrugged "I guess" and then started to head out. He decided walking around the island would be a better experience. He then realized that he was actually a lazy asshat and decided maybe to slip into fantasy just for a few more minutes and began to approach the housing.**

 **"** **Hey!" a voice startled Hajime behind him. He turned around and saw Mahiru "You better not be going inside to sleep again! It's a beautiful day outside, you shouldn't be going to sleep on a day like this!"**

 **"** **Oh..no I just wanted to go get something." Hajime had to lie as convincingly as possible because if Mahiru knew he was lying, she'd probably fucking kick his ass.**

 **Mahiru's face was puffy for a moment, but then she relaxed and started to speak again "Tell you what, i'll help you look for whatever it is you need to get, then you can help take photographs with me!" she smiled. Hajime realized he won't get to dream anytime soon, but it still might be fun to maybe sightsee.**

 **"** **W-well," Hajime stammered. "I, uh probably won't need that thing if we're taking photos."**

 **"** **Good, then let's go" Mahiru was smiling like fucking Haruhi Suzumiya and then started to forcefully drag Hajime around the entire day.**

 **"** **Hmm" Mahiru was analyzing one of Hajime's photos of Macklemore "This could be a really good shot, but you should try taking it from this angle." Mahiru snapped the photograph of Macklemore from behind, fully displaying his fruit salad with rattling spoons and showed him "See?"**

 **Hajime sighed and then smiled "Yeah, I guess that's probably better."**

 **"** **Honestly Hajime, you're trying too hard to seem happy," Mahiru looked at him. "Tell me what's going on and why you seem so interested in dreaming. Are your dreams really that good?"**

 **Hajime looked at Mahiru "I'm sorry Mahiru. It's not that i'm uninterested it's just.." His voice trailed off.**

 **"** **Just?" Mahiru continued his sentence.**

 **"** **The dreams seem nightmarish and insane. But there's something I like about them" Hajime leaned back.**

 **Mahiru smirked and teased "I bet it's a person you're in love with isn't it? Come on, who's the lucky lady?"**

 **Hajime seemed taken aback by what she stated. "Well for one, it's not a girl. And another thing is despite the dreams having me kiss the person, I've never felt anything for him."**

 **Mahiru tilted her head in surprise "Hajime, I was kidding. But you should know that dreams are meant to reflect your hidden desires and ideals." Hinata already knew this, but he always just shrugged off that feeling. Mostly because he didn't really want to admit something like that was going on in his mind. Besides, they're mostly fever dreams anyways. For all Hajime knew it may not even mean a thing.**

 **"** **How the hell did you two get into my mansion? You better run, or I'll call the peepo!" Macklemore's voice sharply cut through Hajime's thoughts.**

 **"** **OH SHIT TIME TO RUN" Mahiru grabbed Hajime's tie and got the fuck out of there.**

 **"** **Mahiru, I thought you said we had permission to go in his house." Hajime said confused.**

 **"** **Yeah...totally." Mahiru looked away. "Anyways, it's 9:50 which means it's almost nighttime. We should just skedaddle into bed."**

 **"** **Good idea." Hajime tried to play it cool but he was interested in what his dreams would bring tonight. Sure, they're scary as hell. But Hajime enjoyed the thrill of it. With heart in hand, he slid into his bed, both exhausted and awaiting the new dream to come, and with his last breath in consciousness he whispered "See you soon, Nagito." a wave of darkness fell over onto his eyes as his consciousness drifted from him, forming and changing into a new view. He was in the same field again. A soft drizzle of rain was trickling all around, but it didn't drench anything except the ground. In his view was Sparkling Justice and Macklemore back to back with their arms crossed, smirking at Hajime and dropping some sick beats. He suddenly realized he was in a rap battle for some reason? Well, he refused to lose!**

 **"** **F-Frivolous rhymes, I rhyme all the time! You w-want s-some of this, well come check some of this! I-I've been rapping all my life, you're just an excuse for...shit I can't think of anything" Hajime sighed**

 **"** **You're just an excuse for wasting the time of my life!"**

 **Hajime turned to see Komaeda coming out of the shadows with wings and other cool shit.**

 **"** **It's the hot fuzz!" Macklemore cried.**

 **"** **Impossible" Sparkling Justice assured him. "I AM the law. This is probably the rap god you were talking about. Do we need to run?"**

 **Macklemore nodded and they sprinted away.**

 **"** **Hey Hajime, been seeing you around a lot recently" Komaeda smirked.**

 **"** **Yeah..maybe." Hajime mumbled quietly.**

 **"** **Something wrong, Hajime?" Komaeda asked.**

 **"** **No I'm just- Yes something is wrong." Hajime broke. "Why do I keep wanting to come here? Why do I keep wanting to be here, with you? Why can't I understand any of this?" Hajime sank into the sparkling blades of grass, resting his head in his knees.**

 **Komaeda paused a moment, and then settled down beside him and smiled genuinely "Well, I don't see anything wrong."**

 **Hajime wasn't reassured and quietly asked "..What do I do now? I'm still confused about this"**

 **Nagito scooted closer and comforted him and said the only answer one person could say "You should tell him. Then maybe reality won't be as droll as it was before."**

 **Hajime slowly looked up from his knees and locked himself in Nagito's gaze. He then kissed Nagito, landing himself out the window and out of his dream. Hajime looked around. Crickets were still chirping and the cicadas were singing their song. He looked up and presumed it was possibly dawn. He slowly made his choice, pausing and approached Nagito's cottage with the same mood he had when he went to bed, feeling as if it was his only chance. He then went and knocked on the door.**

 **Nagito slowly stepped out yawning, bleary eyed "Huh? Is it morning already, Hajime? I should go steal the bagels"**

 **Hajime paused and stammered "N-no..i-it's not dawn yet, Nagito."**

 **Nagito looked more awake with a surprised expression and then turned neutral "Are you planning to kill me to produce more hope?"**

 **Hajime's eyes widened "No! it's" Hajime's voice trailed off "...You know what, it can wait until the morning." Hajime started for his cottage again.**

 **"** **Hajime Hinata, you better tell me why you came to wake me up, now." Nagito looked serious.**

 **Hajime knew there was no easy way out of delaying this "I...I love you Nagito." He looked down.**

 **Nagito looked a little shocked and then smiled "...I never really thought anyone would love trash like me." he paused and spoke "I love you too, Hajime." Nagito put his hand on Hajime's shoulder and reeled him in for a kiss.**

 **Mahiru thought for a moment "To be honest, when I heard you say it was a boy I thought you meant someone like Kazuichi or something. But I guess Komaeda is fitting too." She smiled.**

 **Kazuichi looked shocked "W-What? No i'm totally straight all the way for Miss Sonia!" he began to hide his gay art.**

 **Hiyoko shrugged "Whatever, you're both total weirdos." She paused for a moment and blushed "...But if Mahiru supports you two, so do I."**

 **Chiaki smiled "I wanted to see you two together for a long time. Congratulations you two."**

 **Byakuya leaned towards them with his giraffe neck again, inciting the screams of the children. "Most of us shipped it anyways, it's about time it happened."**

 **Naegi smiled and looked at Byakuya "Come on, just let them have this moment."**

 **Sonia arched her arm and said "I propose we begin a new ship!"**

 **"** **And what ship would that be?" Byakuya inquired.**

 **"** **Um...it's a secret" Sonia replied.**

 **Hajime looked around at everyone and how bright it was with the atmosphere and he smiled. He didn't feel lazy today at all. And Hajime was excited to spend time with everyone, especially Komaeda.**

 **Made by a bored girl who gets bored in psychology.**

 **Look, this is my first attempt at an actual story. Please don't get pissed at me about this. I just wanted to try to do something for once.**


End file.
